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Would you believe we found this ransom note, (below), in my husband’s mailbox at school? That poor giant zucchini has been taken hostage. (If you missed parts one and two of this story, please refer to my older posts). There is no telling what happened to this poor little guy. Would you believe my husband actually accused me of having done this! If only I had thought of it first! Actually I am trying to hunt down the guy who kidnapped the zucchini so I can thank him and give him a reward for sparing me from having to deal with this bad boy on my own. If you know who the culprit is, please have him contact me, so I can thank him personally. 
Alrighty folks….you ain’t seen nothing yet! When I wrote “The Zucchini Chronicles” last month, my DH was not amused. In fact, I think he took it as a challenge, and went and re-fertilized his beloved plants. I thought you may be interested in the end results….of the zucchini….not our marriage, which is now in crisis mode. Check these photos out and you’ll see why!
Round One- September 2nd
That
Notice his hand in comparison to the size of these zukes! But wait…you ain’t seen nothing yet. The following week he came in with this choice number.
Dan proudly displays his 9/10 harvest.
Okay. So that was kinda funny. And I was still laughing. But the next week he brought in this number, and I wasn’t laughing anymore . Now it’s war!!
Tell me this is a watermelon, not a zucchini!
Sorry the photo is a bit fuzzy. But understandably, I was in shock when he proudly brought this beast into the house, weighing in at 30 pounds and taking up 2 square feet of counter space. I have included more photos below. Notice the how it dwarfs the coffee maker in the background and the regular size zucchini sitting next to it.
Unbelievable!
I got big problems!!
Well, thankfully he took the beast to school with him to show his students. It was quite a hit at school. Now I understand the Bend Bulletin is trying to contact us for an interview. And someone form Good Morning Central Oregon wants to interview him….(the zucchini, not Dan). Well, all I ask is that you would say a prayer for me this week as I am really going through a crisis right now in my marriage.
Blessings-
Tea Lady Darla
Seriously folks, what have I done to deserve this? 
Okay, I confess when I first moved here from the Las Vegas area, I thought it was rather charming to have married into a farming family, being that there is no such thing as a farmer in the desert where I used to live. We bought a house on a 5 acre lot with fabulous Smith Rock views. And my husband planted a huge garden in the yard. I’m talking HUGE! Like about 40 x 70 feet worth of huge! There were peas, and carrots, onions, lots and lots of corn. And zucchini by the ton. It was all so quaint back then….going out into the garden to pick the fresh vegetables we’d be having for dinner. Not only was it quaint, but very practical for a blended family of nine big eaters living on a $600/month grocery budget. No one ever warned me about zucchini. The only thing I knew of zucchini growing up near Las Vegas was that you could find it in the produce section at Smiths Food King at 2am when I did most of my grocery shopping, like all good residents of Las Vegas do.
In my husband’s garden, the zucchini plant seemed to thrive….and not just thrive but take over, for crying out loud. I tried every zucchini recipe known to man to try and break up the monotony of having to eat zucchini everyday. I finally came upon a recipie for Chocolate Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread that my kids seemed to love and would actually eat without complaining. (recipe below). And so I made Zucchini Bread until my refrigerator was filled to overflowing. And the freezer too. But my husband continued to bring me newly harvested zucchini almost daily. So we started taking bags of zucchini to church with us to give away to the parishioners. More often than not, we had to just leave a huge bag sitting conspicuously somewhere and pray that a starving, homeless person would be blessed by it. I read somewhere that if you live in farming country, you don’t need to plant zucchini. All you have to do is park your car in a public spot and leave one of the windows rolled down for about 15 minutes. (Make sure it’s only one window rolled down, lest there isn’t enough room left for you to drive home after your car has been blessed). So true. But this poor little desert dweller didn’t know these things when I first arrived here.
Now last month I took care of my husbands garden while he was in Zambia. And I actually thought I was doing a pretty good job. More than anything I was thrilled that the zucchini’s hadn’t started coming on yet. That was an answer to prayer actually, considering I was living here alone, and I don’t care much for zucchini in the first place. And in the 2nd place I hate making zucchini bread. All that effort would be better spent on making one of my favorite desserts like Chocolate Thriller Dessert with cream cheese and coffee flavored filling on a dark crispy cookie crust. Yowsers! Making zucchini bread can be an all day chore, so I’ve let Dan know that I’m only gonna do it one day a year. And he’s got to figure something else out the rest of the time.
In any case, in one of my e-mails to Dan while he was away in Zambia, I reported to him that things were going very well in his garden overall, with the exception of an occasional deer visitation, and that the zucchini plant didn’t have any vegies set on it yet. And he e-mailed me back, suggesting that I fertilize the plant. I couldn’t sleep that night as I pondered his remark. Could it be that all those years I had slaved to figure out something to do with the never ending zucchini harvest, he had actually been fertilizing the thing to make it grow more? Say it isn’t so! Surely he loved me more than that!
Well, my marriage is going to survive this crisis somehow, although I’m hanging on by a thread today as I stare at yet another zucchini harvest. Trying so hard to not cry over it. And feeling guilty for not being more grateful, when I know good and well there are starving people all over the world. My husband reminds me of the little orphans in Zambia who get one bowl of rice every day to eat….if they are lucky. I’m so sorry! I do feel like the Israelites in Exodous who complained about having to eat manna everyday. It is a bad thing to complain about having to eat the same food everyday. So I’ll try not to complain about the zucchini so much. But could someone explain why my husband does this to me, and thinks he’s doing me a favor?!
Here are a few recipes for those who are having their own zucchini crisis:
CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHIP ZUCCHINI BREAD
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3 eggs 1 tsp baking soda
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2 cups sugar 1 tsp salt
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1/2 oil 1 tsp cinnamon
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1/2 cup appleasuce 3/4 cup choc. chips
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1 tsp vanilla 3/4 cup chopped walnuts
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2 cups grated zucchini
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2 oz.unsweetened chocolate, melted
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2 cups flour
Mix together in large mixing bowl eggs, sugar, oil, applesauce and vanilla, beating at slow speed 1 1/2 minutes till well blended. Add zucchini and melted, (slightly cooled), chocolate. Stir to blend well. Sift together flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon. Add to chocolate mixture stirring well. Add chocolate chips and nuts an stir till just mixed throughout. Pour this mixture into a greased and floured 9 x 5 loaf pan, and bake at 350 for 60-70 minutes. Wooden pick should come out clean when inserted into center. Cool for 15 minutes before turning it out of pan. Enjoy with a hot cup of White Blossom Earl Gray Tea from Silverleaf Tea Company. Link is in the right hand column. Use coupon code Newsletter08 to recieve a 20% discount.
Blessings-
Tea Lady Darla
