Living With Adult ADHD

Hello tea lovers.  Are you ready for a new topic? Maybe a nice pleasant cup of pomegranate flavored Rooibos will make our visit even more special. It’s one of my favorites called African Safari Tea from Silverleaf Tea company. Today I want to talk about living with ADD.  It’s funny, cause I never really plan what I will write about.  But every week I find myself contemplating some pretty big thoughts about different subjects. I don’t know much about adult ADHD.  So I’m really hoping to hear from somebody out there who can shed more light on the subject.  What I do know is this…Not all attention deficit disorders are categorized by hyperactivity.  However they are all grouped under this one name ADHD, which is unfortunate because I think it causes a lot of confusion for folks.

I believe I have an undiagnosed case of adult ADHD.  But I can’t convice anyone of  that because I am anything, BUT hyperactive! And I have put into place some habits and skills that help me to cope with the confusion my brain is constantly sorting through. I became aware of the possiblility of my ADD when we were having our foster son tested for ADHD 3 years ago.  So many of the symptoms were things I am so familiar with and have learned to live with.  I was talking with a friend over tea this past week, and she mentioned her husband’s ADHD, and her utter frustration with him. The next day I found myself journaling my thoughts about my situation.  And I found myself crying for the first time over my condition. The hardest part about this is that no one believes me.  I have tried to share how my brain works and sorts through information with my husband.  But I know he still doesn’t get it.

How do I know? Many times when working on a project that I enjoy, I must force myself to hyper-focus in order to get through each piece of information.  My brain works in a sequence pattern, and if anything disturbs the sequencing before I complete the project, I must start all over again from the very beginning. Step 1, step 2, step 3, step 4, and so on.   Please don’t disturb me while I am working through each of the steps.  The slightest noise or movement  distracts me completely and I can no longer complete the task without starting from the beginning again.  

And then there are other times, when I am trying to do something I find uninteresting or complicated.  In those cases, I find I must take regular breaks in order to complete a project. 10 minutes to concentrate, followed by a 5 minute break to process the information. And then I can get back to work. Everything I do takes 3-5 times longer than it should.  There are notes everywhere, schedules and everything must have a place.  My notes are studied, then condensed and restudied. If my schedule is changed, if my personal items are moved, if I am disturbed in the middle of a project I AM LOST!!  I can become angry and frustrated at a moments notice.  I am easily overwhelmed when too many things come at me to quickly.  I can only process one item at a time.  And it takes me longer than normal to process each item.

What it feels like? I feel like I am bobbing helplessly in a giant lap pool, with professional swimmers doing laps to the left and the right of me. Meanwhile I am struggling just to keep my head above water. When I was growing up, I thought I must be stupid or something. I realize now that I am not stupid at all.  But I am slow at learning and doing. The world I live in is fast and getting faster all the time. I do well when I can work on a project at my own pace. Is it any wonder that my favorite hobby is crafting where I can be creative and have a sense of accomplishment working at my own pace.

I will always wonder what my life would have turned out like if I could think things through at light speed like so many people around me do. My husband is a genius and I love him for that.  He tells me that I am the wisest woman he ever met,  so maybe God has dealt me a fair hand after all.  Thanks for listening to my experience today.  I’m eager to hear yours as well.

Have a tealightful day!

 

Tea Lady Darla